Here are some entirely random groups I definitely would NOT want to be part of…
The Pussycat Dolls
First of all, AS IF they’d let me in. At 11 stone, I’m about ehhh 6 stone overweight. I’ve never had plastic surgery. My fishnet stocking collection is perilously small and I just haaaaate people thinking I’m a slut. So my position in the group would be post-apocalypse – if at all.
But were an asteroid to hit and me be the only woman on earth fit to entertain the red blooded (and still breathing) males, I’d probably tell them to go fluff themselves. Having to compete with Nicole Scherzinger for attention all day would make me suicidal.
And as for the ridiculous cover versions they perform? Many of my favourite artists would be tossing and turning in their asteroid induced graves.
The Priesthood
Once again, I highly doubt they’d let me join. I’m way to female to join the Men’s Club. And they’d be totally threatened by my thinking-outside-the-kitchen mentality. So I’d probably never make the cut.
If I did, however, I can tell you now I’d hate it. Imagine everyone, EVERYONE you know, kinda thinking you’re a paedophile? Baseless, but a fair accusation. That’s not the only drawback, though.
Black clothes? All the time? Nah. Abstinence? No thanks. Attending the boring part of tons of weddings? Now that’s just cruel.
Opus Dei
Similar to the priesthood in some restrictive ways, this Roman Catholic organisation basically funds the activities of the Church thanks to some of its exceedingly rich members.
But as a fully-fledged female member, I’d never be allowed be in contact with any males – EVER. And I’d have to live somewhere they assigned me. And if I was feeling particularly dedicated to the ‘Work of God’ (what Opus Dei means) I’d be wearing a cilice (pictured) everyday while doing my dishes.
Sorry, but no God of mine ever recommended ripping the thighs off yourself with barbed wire. And God proclaimed from above “My children, hear my words. Punish thyself inordinately and thy soul will be saved.” Totally, man. Nothing says heaven like a load of bloody limbs.
Tags: cilice, god, groups, nicole scherzinger, opus dei, priests, pussycat dolls
Asteroid-induced graves… like that!
And hahah, love your reasons for not wanting to join the priesthood, even if they did let in the ladies! Brill! :)
Really though, who would want to join the priesthood? Nothing but a load of dog collars and a bad reputation… :) x
Laughed out loud… as usual!!
Thankayouuuu :) xx
think you would make a great priest and you could translate the bible from a womans point of view and you are too good for the pussy cat dolls they would bore you after a few days