Just Can’t Get Enough

Here, for your pleasure and mine, are five things I can’t get enough of lately. Feel free to share the joy and search out these fine items of pleasure for yourself.

My numbers today are courtesy of the lovely country of Sweden.

En

Mark Ronson & The Business INTL new song, Bang Bang Bang. Youtube it while reading the rest of this post. Yes, I mean you. You who wouldn’t usually follow orders given by bloggers. Gwan. And if you don’t like it, you’ve only lost your dignity. I joke. Great video aswell, if you like the song, watch it with the video.

Två

The Ray Foley Show on Today Fm. Like, seriously good radio. I’ve never laughed out loud at a broadcast more than I do at Ray, JP and Ann. If you’re in the vicinity of a radio between the hours of 12 and 2.30pm on weekdays, you’d do well to tune in. Holla. Oh, and I’ve no affiliation to the TodayFm people, I just genuinely like the show.

Tre

Feeding Ducks. You know it.

Fyra

Aussie Hair Products. I’ve been on a crusade to improve the condition of my hair lately. I got a radical new haircut (radical by my standards) and I have been using leave-in conditioners everytime I wash my hair almost. Aussie 3 Minute Miracle really has been a miracle for my hair.

Fem

MY NEW SHOESSSSSSS. I posted that I wanted them, and then as if by magic, they arrived at my door! (That might be a lie. I might have foregone buying food for the week because of a dangerous trip to Aldo in Blanchardstown…)

Here they are again. Gosh don’t I mention shoes an awful lot??

They look even sexier with my award-winning feet in them. (Yes, my feet have won awards. Kinda)

Stevie the T.V.

There’s a reason why we love certain television characters so much.

They’re written to be perfectly flawed. If our lives were pre-recorded and had a team of people custom designing our words and movements, we’d probably love ourselves a whole lot more.

Here are some of the traits and imperfect perfections I wish I could emulate and in turn be a totally impressive person.

Olivia Benson

from Law & Order SVU played by Mariska Hargitay

I’d totally steal her ability to come up with witty, scathing, insulting one liners, deliver them with this perfect expression of both disgust and sexiness, and still manage to keep my ladylike reputation.

Spencer Reid

from Criminal Minds played by Matthew Gray Gubler

He has an innate ability to make intelligence and knowledge of very specific trivia seem cute and sexy. I want it! When I come out with some useless piece of info (as I regularly do) I get funny looks. Not admiring glances like Dr Reid. *melt*

Carrie Bradshaw

from Sex and the City played by Sarah Jessica Parker

Okay, so there’s not much I wouldn’t rob from her character, (I’d leave the smoking behind, I’d also ditch Big for Aidan) but I just love her little eye brow raise when she says something funny or sarcastic. If you’re a fan of SATC you’ll know what I mean, and probably wanna rob it too.

Monica Geller

from Friends played by Courteney Cox Arquette

I’d love to be able to cook FOR A LIVING and still be wafer thin. The woman’s metabolism must be working some serious overtime. My metabolism ran away and got lost when I was about 18 and it still hasn’t come back. Ooh, while we’re on the subject – did you know that Courteney Cox got her start as a featured extra in Bruce Springsteen’s Dancing in the Dark video? Well here’s the proof! Laugh, it’s funny.

Liz Lemon

from 30 Rock played by Tina Fey

To just be THAT hilarious in everyday life. I’m not that funny, according to my sister. But if I could emulate Ms Lemon I’d have my sister falling off furniture with the giggles.

Artie Abrams

from Glee played by Kevin McHale

Eh, the dude is in a wheelchair and is STILL cooler than all but one of the Glee boys (Puck, obvs). If I could pull of cool in a wheelchair, I fear there would be no stopping me. At the moment, I’m fully mobile and still can’t pull off cool, so you needn’t worry.

Postman Pat

from Postman Pat played by Postman Pat

The man has a level of job satisfaction that is not of this world. He has no funny ideas about himself and what he can or can’t be. The pressures of ambition seem to go over his head completely, leaving him free to embrace life as a postman. Sometimes I wish life were that simple. No thanks on the cat front though.

Yeah, Bleh or Meh: Emmy Style

Jeez I love award shows.

Apart from that annoying “Oh-my-Gosh-we’re-all-such-amazing-actors-who-just-want-to-practice-our-craft-and-earn-millions” and the giant frickin’ love marathon and back-patting session they all have together… But that’s another day’s post.

Awards shows are amazing for seeing tonnes of famous people all in one place and interacting. It really is fascinating. And what’s more – they all dress like royalty. I smell a fashion post…

Yeah

Best of the Night

Best of the Night goes to Claire Danes. How FABULOUS is she?

I’m strangely proud of Claire Danes for this bad boy. Seriously, she’s never looked better. And in a sea of black and navy-blue safety dresses, this really stands out. Simple, but embellished to perfection. Fair play Claire. Oh, and fair play Armani Privé.

I’m a huge fan of January Jones. I love her, actually. So it’s possibly my bias led me to place her in the Yeah category. But I honestly think this is a great dress. The shape looks great on her, and the colour perfect on her. LOVE the giant train too. Fancy. Possibly would’ve done something nicer with the aul hair tho, JJ.

2nd Best of the Night

My pick for the best overall red carpet look is Jayma Mays from Glee. Understated elegance, which so many try to achieve but most fall flat. She gets it right with this gorgeous Burberry Prorsum number. Gah she’s just fab. Oh and I LOVE her hair and jewellery.

This dress has torn critics. I am going with the ones who love it, because I think it’s really unique, well suited to Diana, and even though it should age her, it doesn’t. Carolina Herrera hits it out of the park once again. Agron would make anything look beautiful though.

Meh

This screams Oscar De La Renta from two miles away, and I do love me a bitta ODLR. But navy? I don’t know. There was lots of it on the red carpet. And this just didn’t get me excited. Don’t get me wrong, Lea Michele looks great. But nothing new here.

I’m just not mad about this Zac Posen number. Christina Hendricks could’ve highlighted her curves better, I think. Great colour on her and in general, but just not a favourite.

I see where she was going…stand out colour, figure flattering, not too busy. But it just comes off as Loreto College Debs 1998, doesnt it? I think so. Sequins, unless done right, can look cheap and tacky. Sorry Sofia. And Carolina Herrera has done better.

Bleh

Maybe I’m being a bit harsh putting this in the Bleh section, but I think it’s because I love Kim Kardashian so much that I expect more from her. This Marchesa gown ages her, doesn’t show off her famous and enviable curves, and the swept back hair screams Croydon Facelift. Kim could do much better.

This Alexander McQueen frock just didn’t work. It was over-embellished, and the satin didn’t really suit Anna, neither did the colour for that matter. She has such a striking face that she can’t wear to much detail around her upper body I think. But at least it’s something different. Fair play to her for having the cajones to try it.

Worst of the Night:

I’m sorry Tina! I love you! You’re a comic genius. But Christ did you pick the wrong dress. Sorry, but this is a mess. Oscar De La Renta has let me down for the first time. The shape is wrong, the colour is wrong, the pattern is wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Wrong. Did I mention it’s wrong?

Shock Fashionista of the Night:

Jenna Ushkowitz looked great, I thought. She never really threw down the gauntlet as a fashion person or someone to watch, but I think her dress, hair and shoes are all great here. Well done! Now you have something to live up to.

Emmy Awards: Results

The Emmy Awards.

Okay, so Glee wasn’t as big a winner as everyone (or maybe that was just me?) thought it was going to be.

Those Modern Family feckers STOLE the Outstanding Comedy Series award from Glee’s grasp. And poor Chris Colfer didn’t get his supporting actor award. Lea Michele, Matthew Morrison and Kristen Chenoweth were all left out in the cold aswell. Devo.

Jane Lynch, of course, took home the award that was only ever going to go to her. She accepted the award with grace and humour, one of the best acceptance speeches of the night. Neil Patrick Harris was another shoe-in for his guest role. I hope they bring him back for a few more episodes.

I’m disappointed that all this morning’s headlines about the Emmy awards weren’t SCREAMING Glee at the top of their lungs, but hey, there’s always next year. Onwards and upwards, Gleeks.

Fair play to Modern Family and Mad Men, the main big winners of the night. And I was kinda disappointed that my new love, 30 Rock, didn’t win much either. Tina Fey is a flaming genius.

For a full list of winners, click here.

Nazi Car Testing – The REAL NCT

I’m not a bad person, I just left my laptop charger in Dublin for a CASUAL five whole days. Moving swiftly on.

So, the NCT centre in Ballymun reminded me of a Nazi concentration camp*. Not that I’ve ever been to one, certainly not when fully operational, but I couldn’t help but draw comparisons.

A huge warehouse where people skulk in like their lives are in grave danger. If your car fails, you’ve to shell out more cash to fix it, or risk the dreaded public transport forever more.

In everyone files, only to have their keys taken, money taken and confidence shattered by some smug looking mechanic who you can tell just LOVES failing cars on a whim. He might as well have had a swastika on his overalls.

Everyone, already at their lowest, enter a room with giant glass windows – an observation room – to sit and wait, powerless, for their fate to be sealed. All the while watching the goings on inside the car-testing centre.

You see your car being driven up to test one. A row of four huge rigs and a line of four computers with numbers and images flashing threateningly in your direction. You car is totally in for it when it reaches the shake down machine – which by the way, looks more like a way to wreck a reliable automobile than to check it for faults.

Everyone in the room forms an unspoken bond of fear and apprehension. Glaring through the window, you hope your car is holding its own and being a good little jew motor so as not to anger the nazi tester.

You pretend to read a newspaper, making it look as though you are confident your car will make the grade. But inside, you know your front right headlamp is dodgy. You know your tires are worn out more on the left because your steering is a bit wonky.

And it’s as if they can read your thoughts through plate glass, because you see them suspiciously eyeing up those tires. It’s the scrap heap for you, isn’t it?

The whole room jumps and hearts skip a beat when the creaky warehouse door opens and a mechanic with a definite swagger wanders in and calls a name. In a blind panic, people start gathering their belongings, thinking ‘Oh god, this is where I find out I’ve been driving an engineless car…’.

Wait, was that my name? Go!

You can sense the tense jealously of everyone you’ve left behind, combined with their vindictive hope that your car fails and you’ll come back to the gas chamber waiting room with your tail between your legs.

Luckily for this car owner, PASS was the order of the day. Unfortunately, as you are given your results away from the viewing room, you can’t share (or wallow in) your joy. You wind up fifty euro out of pocket, with a feeling of foreboding that lasts for the rest of the day.

Another two years until I have to return to that most depressing facility. Hopefully by then I’ll have thwarted the system by doing what the government and car companies all want – buy a new car. Seeya later environment! Welcome to earth, Global Warming.

*Obviously, I used Nazi and Jew comparisons for humour reasons, and I do not mean to belittle or trivialise the plight of the Jews or the terror of the Nazis.*

150 P.O.S.T.S

Posts of Seriously Transcendent Standard

Pieces of Smelly, Turd-like Shit

Pairs of Shingleridden Taliban Soupbowls

Pints of Stella Artois, Tsing Tao or Smithwicks

Periods of Short Tempered Salutations

Pandemics of Supremely Talented Starfish

Pri….you get the idea.

Oooh! This here post is my 150^th! Oui, you read that right. One hundred and fifty posts.

It’s a big deal for me, OK?

So in honour of that fact, I’m going to fill your trivia cavities with lots of things that relate in some way to the number 150. Ta daaaaah!

♦ Dublin Bus run the number 150 from Fleet Street to Rossmore. ♦

♦ If Douglas Hyde, our first president and founder of the Gaelic League, were alive today, he’d be 150 years old, God rest him. ♦

♦ There are 150 psalms in the Old Testament of the Bible. Woah, shit just got Christian. ♦

♦ 150 years ago, French typesetter Edouard-Léon Scott de Martinville invented the phonoautogram, which recorded sounds and is now officially listed as the earliest known recording of a human voice. ♦

♦ 150 square feet = 13.935456 m² ♦

As it turns out, finding out stuff about the number 150 is hella difficult.

So instead of writing out the 150 times tables and making you all die inside, I’m going to post some pretty pictures of cakes. Yes. Cakes. Enjoy. Try not to lick your computer screen. (Oh, and the last picture of a cake is my very own 21st birthday masterpiece, designed by yours truly!)